You don't have to put yourself in environments that make you feel uncomfortable. If you do, then you're doing yourself a disservice and causing harm toward your mental hygiene which is the way you keep your mind and your emotions clean and spiffy. Just like we need to stay hygienic with our physical bodies by brushing our teeth, taking showers and exercising, it's equally as important to place ourselves in healthy environments that support our happiness and social well-being.

In order to make friends outside the gay scene, you gotta answer this one question: Do you value health?

Do you value education? Do you value giving back to communities through volunteerism or entrepreneurship? When you identify your values, then you can pick and choose communities that align with your values. There are plenty of activities that align with your values in your new city like hiking, yoga, video game clubs, book clubs, art studios, and seminars at local colleges and universities. Going to these place and events that align with your values has got to be your number one priority because that's where you're gonna meet people just like you, regardless of whether or not they're gay or straight, male or female.

The more often you show up the keywords here are "show up" , you'll begin to meet people who align with your values. As you meet and mingle with these people, I want you to become proactive in doing these 3 three things:. It may feel awkward to introduce yourself to new people, but you just gotta suck it up and realize that some people are gonna become your friends and others aren't.

I always tell my students, some will, some won't, so what, someone's waiting. Make sure you remember that.

The fight for gay rights in Kenya - What happened next?

Swap phone numbers or exchange email addresses. I'm gonna recommend you don't start with social media here because it's so easy to get lost in the noise and just become a cog in someone else's social media wheel of doom.


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Every time you meet someone you like, invite them out to coffee or invite them out to a non-work related activity. Then when you have at least new friends that you've bonded with, you can invite all of them over to your house to have a dinner party or plan a group outing together. But, since I became a member of this website, I have found that most men here are truly as excited as I am to explore and get to know each other. It has been an amicable experience and I look forward to logging on to see what is next.

It is like a treasure chest. I loved the way that I could find other gay men without having to search too long. I could pick, choose and refuse what I wanted. The choices were unlimited. I had the opportunity to hook up using their video chat feature before I planned any dates. It gave me a safety net and that is what I loved the most. I am a gay male who refuses to have only one relationship. I love the idea of dating more than one partners at a time.

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Delusions schelusions, we'll take it. Chappy is relatively small and young in app terms, so don't expect the overpopulated dating pool you might find on Grindr or Scruff. The app requires users to have Facebook for verification purposes, so it won't work for those who've rightfully abandoned the platform.

You're disproportionately likely to find people like this on the app. Chappy is free to download, though as their user base grows, so too might potential in-app purchases. Best for inclusivity. A-List Basic: Yes A-List Premium: It would be great if someone developed more queer- and trans-specific dating apps.

It's also not likely to happen anytime soon, due to the scale of investment required and the audience served.

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Dating apps need lots and lots of users to be successful, and with Tinder and OkCupid already sort of serving the community, I don't expect new ones to make major inroads anytime soon. However, OkCupid was impressively much faster than other apps to expand their orientation and gender identity options. In , OkCupid began offering their users more than a dozen different ways to identify. The app currently offers users 22 different genders and 13 orientations to choose from, and also includes helpful descriptions of each for folks who are unfamiliar with this kind of stuff.

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And unlike Tinder, OkCupid gives so much more room for people to write profiles, answer questions, and explain their possibly questionable worldview. While it's impossible for the app to screen out all the haters, you can get a decent sense of user's views on trans and queer people and whether they're gonna be an asshole because you love cable TV. It's free to download, but you'll have to pay to enjoy their Premium A-list features.

If you want more people to see your profile, you can pay to have it promoted like you would on Twitter. OkCupid also collects really interesting data about users on their OkCupid blog. Sure, some of their data collection services might be a wee bit invasive, but I'm not aware of any services that aren't.

Best specifically for gay men. Grindr Grindr is a classic choice for gay men who want a ton of options, very little small talk, and instant meet-up opportunities. Grindr brands itself as the world's largest dating app for gay men as well as queer and trans people.